A story that's not really about snakes, but sort of.

So. . . today at church I am the substitute singing time lady. i do my thing for jr. primary. then as they are dismissing the kids to their classes, they realize they are like 3 teachers short (by the way, this is very normal). they ask me to go sit with the 4 turning five year old kids until they round up a teacher for them. so i go sit at this tiny table made for rats, and start hanging out with the kids. there's five of them and a really cute one i've never seen before. i shoot the breeze with the kids asking them what they like about summer, what their favorite animal is and what is up in the life of a four year old. i then ask the one i've never seen before what his name is, and if he's new. we'll say he say's his name is "neal". neal tells me that he moved on saturday. from nauvoo, IL. and there's a big river there. i concur with neal about the general "bigness" of the river. neal said he moved to lovely kentucky because of his dad's job. and what does neal's dad do for work you ask? make dentures. for some reason i thought that was funny; maybe because of the large number of people i have seen sans teeth. after sitting there for ten or fifteen minutes and wondering how i supposed to teach a class and be the singing lady for sr. primary at the same time, the kids got restless, apparently tired of mine and neal's conversation about dentures. lame. i remembered a time at preschool when sara, amy and i were trying desperately to kill time while waiting for something- probably music time or the stupid playground. we decided that since we had thirty 3,4,5 and 6 year old children all waiting and about to rise up and revolt, we would tell stories. about snakes. strangely enough, they shut up (mostly) and listened to our weird snake stories. i'm pretty sure we kept them quiet for about 20 minutes. magic through our words i tell you. so i started to tell these goobers a story about a treehouse. their eyes got big and i could tell i had them. and just when i got to the good part-- their real teacher came. they'll never even know how it ended. until next time i'm there. which will probably be next week.

Well, it cost less than 5 bucks. . .

I ordered a "BBQ on a Bun" this week when I was out to lunch with a co-worker. What would you think you were getting with this order? Pulled pork? Pulled or shredded beef? Probably in a delicious southern sauce that you would need at least three napkins to clean up afterwords? These were my hopes.
What came to me on a plate was *slightly* different. I received two thick slices of an overcooked, slightly gristly pot roast, with pickles on top on a bun. I was a little confused. Looking at the tab, she wrote down my order correct, but something must have happened in the kitchen. Maybe it was leftover day. And is it really a BBQ if it has no sauce, and was cooked in a crock pot or in the oven? Also, have you ever had pickles with your pot roast? Me neither.

Maybe the waitress misunderstood me. Last week I ordered Honey Chicken somewhere else and I ended up getting Hunan Chicken instead. I think it's my Yankee, Western US accent. I find myself being very aware of all the syllables I say. Especially when most of the people around me are dropping about 60% of them. I can't start to drop syllables, or people will notice and I will sound lame by trying to be regionally "normal". The solution maybe to write down my order, have other people speak for me at restaurants, point or learn to be satisfied with my random, sometimes mediocre, meals that are brought to me.

Hello?

After reading all of your blogs for the past few months, I figured it was high time to come back from lurking and say hello. However, the problem after you have been a sporadic, no, non-existent blogger, is do you give the update of the things in your life that have gone one the last few months, or do you tell the random things that are in your brain or going on currently? Thus the reason I have not blogged.

Here's a quick and dirty-
Christmas in Utah-FUN!
Weather here yesterday- 61 degreess
Me playing the organ in Church since January-Questionable
My new job-enjoying the money, also who does paychecks every week?
GIANT panties in my laundry-Nope. Proud owners of a dryer
Going car shopping after the "big storm"- Freezing, and the "big storm" was 3 inches
Watching The Big Bang Theory- Those are some funny nerds

The BEST manly haircut ever

(This is John by the way). There are a few things that I am not a fan of. 1) Stupid drivers, 2) Bad haircuts. there are a few others, but those aren't important. I had the best haircut ever the other day. Since we have been in KY, I have received a series of really crappy haircuts. So Alicia told me about this "Sports Cuts" place in Bowling Green. We drove by, and saw these dudes cutting hair, pretty ghetto-looking. I didn't care, so I wandered in. Right away they set me in an old-school barber chair, and flipped me away from the mirror so I could watch Sports Center! They had ref's shirts on, and were pretty cool dudes.

Awesome! The guy didn't talk to me other than to laugh at Tiger Woods, comment on how great the Saints are doing, and wonder who was going to win the Super Bowl this year. No awkward small talk about family, job, etc. JUST SPORTS! 15 minutes later, he spun me around, it looked great, paid my money, and was done. It doesn't get any better than that

A Tannenbaum

I encouraged John to get up with me for Black Friday. We got a few spoils. One of these is pictured below. What looks like a vaccum for dolls is actually the Dirt Devil Versa. When John uses it, it looks like it belongs to Polly Pocket and her friends. Luckily, the trinket cost less than $10. John thinks we overpaid. And should have overslept.

*a small note about Black Friday. We were hanging out, watching a movie that was over by 11 and decided it might be fun to stay up all night since we hadn't done that in a long time. We tried to keep ourselves awake by talking and going to Waffle House. We made it until 1:30, took a "nap" and woke up at 3:30 to go stand in line with the rest of the crazies. Hardcore? yeah, probably not.

Next, I got a Christmas tree. I will admit, we went to the tree lot. And here is our tree.

I really wish that was how nice my tree looked. That is the tree at the Opryland Hotel. Here is the tree in my living room.

Slightly less regal, no less noble. And actually much more real(duh, since their's is plastic, or something artificial and mine is the bushiest fir I have ever tangled lights around). Hope you're all having fun with Christmas so far! Utah had better save me some snow.